Ok Can I just Vent for a Moment peeps? I have been good..I promise I have.. well I think I have anyway.. There have been some things that have bothered me for some time and i put it aside trying to not complain.. but sometimes I still ponder it. I'm wondering "Is it me?" That run of the Color Purple really opened my eyes... Now I don't mean to sound ungrateful...but you know what's coming next. Anytime someone says "No Disrespect" that's exactly what they are about to show you.. lol.. (that's funny b/c that just happened to me the other day) I was like OK let the disrespect begin! lol.. So No disrespect if this applies to YOU!
Anyway I got to know a so many talented actors/performers when doing the Color Purple. After seeing the Love and support they were shown, I was impressed and motivated. Seemed like such a wonderful feeling to have friends and family in the place with smiling faces and warm hearts. I couldn't wait for the day when my peeps would come thru and make me feel the same way.. There were a few cast members who had invites in the crowd almost every show.
Well that wasn't the case for me. I had like 3 nights where someone came to show me support.. And that's out of a 3 month run.. I didn't get the consistent faces in the crowd.. You know what I did get? I got a slew of text msgs, phone calls and emails asking these questions over and over again: Where's it showing? What are the dates? How much? Is there a discount? and my personal favorite... When is the run over?..
I love that last question b/c something in me always wanted to reply "Why so you can know when you've missed it as you plan on doing?" But I never did. I continued to graciously entertain the foolery.. I mean I'm really just trying to understand what that's all for... I think I'd much rather have you be like my "friends" that point blank say nothing about my endeavors because they KNOW they aren't gonna support.
A Few cast members' parents flew into town to see the play.. Once again Not I.. Although I was promised by my mom that she would be front and center.. It was a no go.. I would have been cool with her not attending.. Its just the fact that she promise and did the opposite. I realize I'm spilling my guts and it takes a lot for someone to talk about when their MOM of all peeps let them down.. I really tried to understand her part of it.. but I can't so needless to say I'm real dry with my Mom these days (pray fa me I know I should forgive)..
and Friends: Ok let me say the proudest moment was the day i had like 6 peeps in the crowd (Don't you dare laugh at me!). I was so happy until I saw one of them Sleeping thru the show LMAO.. I have to laugh to keep from crying lol.. but it was kinda funny being who it was.. I kinda expected that... anywho then at the end.. You know at curtain call when its your moment to take your bow.. This is the moment I've seen time after time.. when people like Terrence Spencer (Harpo and my boo lol) would get an array of applause from his plethora of friends attending each night. On this night I was soo happy that maybe this night would be the time when Myself and the Church Ladies would get that Roar of Approval... NOPE.. with my 6 peeps in a 60 something seat theater.. it was just another curtain call. As a matter of fact when I came out every one EXCEPT my row of fans were on there feet for a Standing OVAY.. Yea that felt shitty.. Don't Get me wrong.. The fact that they even came was great in comparison to other things floating around in my atmosphere.. but I'm just like.. ITS ME.. Got to B?
I had so many well wishes from Back home, from folks saying they wish the play ran here so they could come out and see me on this New Platform. I wonder if that would have been true. I wanna believe so.. Anywho.. I needed to just say How I really felt about the Support Aspect of the experience.. I really DO appreciate those who came (and did so because the truly wanted to) I love my peeps but man I just got the short end of the stick this time.. Perhaps its Me and perhaps its the Circle.. So I'm gonna change both! Those who really Fuck with me, are Stuck with me.. word to Akula!! lol AND I'LL DRINK TO THAT!
